Home Sweet...Oh Shove It!

I suppose everyone thought the title to this would be the age old saying 'Home Sweet Home'. At the moment I think 'Home Sweet.....Oh Shove It!' covers it better. I could of said 'home sweet home' but what a lie that would be. I mean you get home, you're in pain and you're family are onto you to move more than anyone else. Now before you start saying "The more you move the better it'll get." I think it's only fair to let you know if that's said I'll grab you, pull your tongue out and shove it where the sun don't shine. Maybe it's the temper coming out in me or maybe it's the frustration. All I know is that if I hear that one more time people will die. 

Now because inside I generally am a nice person I'll tell you why I feel this way, imagine: You're a fourteen year old girl, not only have you just had a major operation on your hip but you have then learned to walk again and been in some 'I didn't know this type of pain existed out of child birth' type pain but this has occurred all in the space of seven days. You were not very forewarned at all about what the aftermath of the operation would be like and oh yes...now you're home your dad keeps saying you could of been out earlier and your mum keeps telling you that you must move more, no matter going up and down the stairs 50 times the first day you're home. Also you need help to the toilet by you're mother which means she's seen your bajingo. Then there's always the chance one day she'll be out and you're dad will have to do it, god forbid. Oh and lets not forget the annoying older brother making cracks about you doing things you obviously can't. Then you can't get comfortable no matter what, you can't lift you leg or butt on your own properly and you can't bend your knee properly. Then there's the added bonus that you sleep all curled up in a ball and you can't because you can't turn yourself over.....Oh and to top it all off, not only are you trying to cut out the pain killers and only have them before you sleep so you can go to bed but you've just come on your period so you feel sick and crampy and need to use the loo a hundred times a day. So yeah at the moment you feel in tip-top shape...not. 

Anyway there was this one funny nurse at the hospital called Mark that used to bring me my pain killers and if I could of moved I fear I would have attacked him at some point although he was a lovely, funny guy. 


Apart from this lot my first day home has been quite good, watched a film. Now I'm going to try and get comfortable to get some sleep. Ha that'll take me a good couple of hours.....maybe I'll pass out from exhaustion. 


And really if I get a comment saying anything along the lines of:


1. Smile through the pain.
2. Focus on your breathing.
3. It'll get better. 
4. The more you move the easier it will become. 
5. I'm sure it's not that bad.
6. Oh you poor thing. 


I'll kill someone, probably the comment sender. Really I don't need sympathy. I need a good old fashioned: 


Sucks to be you. 


Please...